Author Michael Arkin is a former Independent State Hearing Officer who was appointed to hear and determine contested cases between school districts and parents as part of the Special Education Hearing Office in Sacramento, California. A former United States Department of Justice trial attorney in Washington, D.C., he engaged in a private law practice, first in Southern California and later in the Mother Lode country of which he writes. His Northern California law practice was balanced among providing legal services as Chief Trial Counsel to Child Protective Services, as special counsel to the Superior Court for children in high conflict child custody cases, and as counsel for battered women referred by the Women’s Crisis Center. He received undergraduate degrees from George Washington University and the University of Oklahoma with a major in psychology, and minors in sociology, philosophy, and English. He received his law degree from the University of Oklahoma.

I first met Michael Arkin by coincidence. I and other grandparents and foster parents formed a group many years ago know as, “The Real F.A.C.T.S.,” or “Forum on Abused Children and the System.” Our group was developed to address concerns about problems within our county’s Child Welfare System and Family Law Courts. We spent a great deal of time educating ourselves and networking with others who had, and still have, similar concerns.

I came to know Michael Arkin through a somewhat circuitous route from networking with others around the state. Somewhere along the way, I met Karen Anderson and Connie Valentine of the California Protective Parent Association in the Davis/Sacramento area. Karen is the founder of the organization known as “Courageous Kids.” When I first met Karen, I learned from her of her own divorce and custody case and how horribly it had been mismanaged by staff and the Court in Amador County to the extreme detriment of her children. There was a strong appearance that her case had intentionally been mismanaged. From actual evidence I saw from the Amador Sheriff’s investigation, it appeared that there was a large cover-up afoot in her case. I subsequently wrote a letter to the editor of the Amador Ledger about how county staff often engages in cover-ups when they’ve badly botched a case. I spoke in generalities rather than mentioning specific cases.

Perhaps I should mention here that I worked for San Luis Obispo County for 20 years; most of that time as the Chief Deputy Public Guardian/Conservator. During this time I saw many cover-ups because of poor decision-making processes and actions, or lack thereof, of incompetent and/or uncaring employees.

After my letter was published in the Amador Ledger, I received a call from the office of an attorney I’d never heard of before–Michael Arkin. I subsequently talked to him and found we had many concerns in common. My husband, Andy, and I made arrangements to meet with him during one of my trips to Amador County to support Karen in court.

After Karen’s court hearing, we drove to Angel’s Camp, where Michael’s office was located in a beautiful old building on the main street right in the heart of town. It was around 5:00 p.m. when we arrived. Michael had many things he wanted to discuss with us and we had many things to discuss with him as well. Because of the political climate in Amador County, he did not want to be over heard by any county staff. He therefore invited us to his beautiful home in the foothills for a wonderful home cooked meal with his wife and kids.

After dinner, the kids were sent off to do home work and get ready for bed. We spent hours exchanging information, documentation, and concerns about what we all considered to be a very poorly run system – a system that served itself rather than serving the persons entangled in it. He told us that whenever a mistake was made or harm had been done, it was covered up and the people involved were effectively silenced. Michael talked about having been threatened by Amador County staff to stay away from certain cases unless he wanted them to make sure he never worked anywhere again. He felt then that his hands were tied because he had a large family to support. Michael and his wife, Laura, have ten children between them.

Eventually Michael was appointed to adjudicate special education cases and his home base changed from Angels Camp to Sacramento. But he continued to have a burning desire to tell the stories from the Foothills, in an effort to spur action to bring the system into balance. Out of Balance, his current book, is the result.

While his book is written as fiction, much of it is based on actual cases. Some of these cases have been published in the L.A. Daily Journal in the past. I still have copies of some of these L.A. Daily Journal articles.

Out of Balance may be somewhat slow reading initially because it explains how the system works for people who are not well versed with the law, domestic violence, and how the courts operate, but it quickly picks up the pace and reads like a psychological thriller, keeping you on the edge of your seat to the conclusion of the book. Quite frankly, once I started the book, I could not put it down. I have seen other reviewers say this also. One reviewer from Southern California said, “As entertaining as the book was, I was educated about a world beyond my comfort zone — abusive parents, victimized children and the intimate scenes of life on illegal drugs. Any reader of this book will want to be more of a watchdog in his neighborhood and looks for signs of abuse. I predict that it will become required or at least recommended reading in courses on domestic abuse. Five stars for a book that opens your eyes and makes you want to make the world a better place.”

The book does a great job of pointing out real problems within the court system and county agencies that deal with abuse and divorce.

It is not only Michael’s hope, but mine as well, that people will begin realizing the scope of problems within these systems and the extent of damage that they do unnecessarily so that better solutions for families can be found. Much of what goes on in the whole system today is simply taken for granted or ignored and many of those in the system don’t want the “boat rocked.” There are too many people making too much money from participating in this dysfunctional system. To them, a closer look resulting in any change would be bad.

Most of us know that the way domestic violence is treated varies from person to person. It is more political than not, and therein lies one of the big problems with how it is handled within the system. One of our county’s former Court Commissioners whom I’d known for years told me that until he became a Court Commissioner hearing family law cases, he had not realized how political domestic violence is. He said he’d always thought that if you did the crime, you should do the time. He indicated he’d learned very quickly that his simplistic belief simply was not true. There are too many double standards and exceptions in the system, particularly for those in certain lines of work who commit domestic violence. Michael does a great job of addressing these specific concerns as well as many others in his book.

There are many of us who are hoping that Michael’s book will be widely purchased, read, and discussed so that it will help create mainstream knowledge of problems within the system so that many more people will become interested and involved in seeing that needed change occurs.

A Glimpse Inside a Broken System: “Out of Balance,” by Michael Arkin (PublishAmerica, Baltimore, MD., $19.95). Out of Balance can be purchased at Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, ABEbooks.com, Hein and Company (Jackson, Ca.), Sustenance Books (Murphys, Ca.), Bookworks (Albuquerque, NM), Frontier Mart (Corrales, NM), directly from the Author (signed) at 1041 Angel Road, Corrales, NM 87048, and from all bookstores (on order) through Ingram Book Distribution Company.

By Berta Parrish

There are some pretty awesome Bigs with some equally wonderful Littles. Plus, there are fantastic staff members who recruit, train, screen, pair, and assist them. Then, there are the dedicated volunteers and donors who support all of them in so many essential ways. Fortunately, there is the committed and energetic Sarah Rudd-Lawlor who encourages, inspires, and manages everyone. These people come together at the award-winning Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) of San Luis Obispo County, a fabulous youth mentoring organization.

Starting as a volunteer, then as a Program Specialist, Sarah became Program Director in 2007. Naturally, she is also a Big Sister. “Spending time with my Little brought back memories of the people who believed in me and lifted me up,” she explains. “I wanted to do that for someone else. In addition, being with my Little helps me focus on the little things, the most important things in life.”

Big Brothers Big Sisters of SLO County serves an important need for boys and girls between the ages of 6-18 as well as offering a rewarding experience for adults. Its mission is to help children reach their full potential through one-to-one, professionally supported, and safe mentoring. Since 1995, over 1300 children have been involved in a mentoring relationship or in one of the school-based programs. At Sinsheimer and Nipomo Elementary Schools, high school and college students mentor pupils during weekly supervised activities and at alternative high schools, mentors guide students through employability skills training and career shadowing.

As Program Director, Sarah has lots of warm and fuzzy stories: “It’s a time to be a kid again for the Bigs. Go for an adventure. Be playful. Rediscover activities that you loved as children and share them with someone now. The Littles,” she adds, “get better at school and at decision making and at relating to their parents and peers. But most of all, they love having a special friend who is just for them!”

The future of both BBBS and Sarah looks very promising. The community continues to generously support BBBS through fundraisers such as this summer’s Big Event Wine Tasting and Auction, Golf for Youth Classic, and British Invasion concert. Always seeking personal as well as professional improvement, Sarah is working toward a Masters Degree in Public Policy from Cal Poly, specializing in social policy and community responsibility. Knowing the immense benefits of having a mentor, she plans to intern with a Cuesta College instructor next fall.

Every since moving here from the Bay Area in 2005, Sarah feels that it has been “one positive, amazing thing after another.” At the same time, she has facilitated many positive, amazing things for the youth, schools, volunteers, and the communities in our county.

Photo by Marek Bernat

By Barbara Atkinson

“When you make the two one, and when you make the inner as the outer and the outer as the inner, and the above as the below, and when you make the male and female into a single one — then shall you enter the Kingdom.” Jesus in the Gospel of St. Thomas

“The human mind rarely sees beyond these opposites to the Greater Unity that necessitates them. But the mind can awaken to Greater Unity, and in this lies the purpose of Creation and of humankind.” Reb Yerachmiel ben Yisrael

Over and over again we hear or read about the term duality in certain spiritual literature. Intellectually, we understand what the word means, but we may not fully internalize its meaning. The unabridged edition of the Random House Dictionary of the English Language states that duality (as a state of being dual) means having a two-fold, or double, character or nature. Note that in this definition, the “character or nature” of something is single, one thing, while dual describes this oneness as being two-fold. In other words, two sides of the same coin. Using this metaphor, Life and wholeness, is the coin, while all the aspects of duality that we associate with mundane life—right/wrong; heaven/earth; perfect/imperfect; good/ bad; question/answer; me/you; birth/death—are the two sides.

Neither side of the coin of Life makes up the whole coin. Yet what do you get when you acknowledge and combine the two sides? You get Divine paradox because the sum (the Stillpoint) is greater than its parts.

Combine right and wrong and you find
Compassion.
Add love and hate and you come to
Forgiveness.
Combine good and bad and you arrive at
Non-judgment.
Combine male and female and you achieve
Balance.
Give your will to Divine Will and you
birth Creative Expression.
Combine hope and despair and you
discover Trust.

Bring Heaven to Earth and you find Peace. The nature of the Divine is couched in this paradox and told in the language of mythology. This is why we can become befuddled in our attempt to understand everything with the intellect. But with this nature, Spirit is not captured within one definitive belief system, but provides for many paths. Regardless of our path, we honor Spirit by “showing up for Life,” i.e., being present as we accept what is, including all parts of ourselves. We can choose to see only one side of the coin at any given moment, or we can begin to see the coin as a whole, in toto, and reap the benefits of Divine paradox. The choice is ours and ours alone. To see Life as a whole changes our perception but doesn’t mean we are blind to the perception of duality around us. We acknowledge the emotions of happy and sad, the judgments of good and bad, but we no longer align or identify ourselves with either. We align and identify ourselves with the Stillpoint at the center of the opposites, which is Divinely inspired and full of paradox. In this Stillpoint, which accepts each moment as it is, we participate with Life because everything is a part of God, in God, and participates as God. Even so, God is more than the sum of Its parts—Divine paradox again. The ultimate duality is God/ Self; transform consciousness and this duality becomes a unified whole—you are not separate from the Divine, from All That Is. When we pray to something, we pray to that part of ourselves of which we are not yet conscious. Standing in the Stillpoint, your life can be the prayer.

Our usual concept of who we are includes duality; this causes struggle as we identify with one side of the coin or another: we are in resistance. Yet, we can make the choice to allow what is and acknowledge Love, the Divine, in each moment.* In that Stillpoint we awaken to the fullness and joy of Life. We continue learning as consciousness continues to expand, but we no longer learn through struggle. Our purpose is to recognize and accept the wholeness of each moment, to remember Spirit in this, our sacred and symbolic life. Odd as it sounds, there is nothing you need to “do” really, no practice, because you are whole now. You are wonderful now.

I’m not suggesting this happens with speed and ease, although it can. To look within and accept our own foibles and pitfalls, to see our wholeness and move out of the mainstream of thought is an act of courage. It’s one thing to intellectually get the concept of non-duality–that you are whole now, just as you are. It’s usually quite another to truly embody that concept by living it, and it’s not an end you can work toward; there is an act of grace involved. Yet this evolution of consciousness is our heritage. It is a process as real as the physical evolution of our bodies and brains. Side by side, the physical and unseen have shared a process of evolutionary learning—expanding in conscious wisdom and expanding in physical adaptation based on that consciousness. There is a genetics of consciousness just as real as our physical genetics, and this radically effects our awakening process – how we experience Spirit is within the context of our individuality. Nevertheless, the goal is the same—to stand in the Stillpoint of the opposites, fully accepting ourselves and Life as it is in each moment. This is an act of Love that opens the door to a lifetime of Love and you have the key, now.

*This isn’t about passivity – clearly you vote for one or another candidate, may be working towards making the world a more equitable place for all, and working to change something in your life. This is about accepting what is in any given moment even as you work for any desired change.

Barbara Atkinson can be reached at batkinson2@earthlink.net for questions or comments.

Photo by Bill Davenport

Once upon a time there was a young maiden with a gentle golden heart waiting to be swept up onto the magic carpet of her dreams. The tale of the magic toad was told to me, and it seemed to be the only means to get to the beloved, that one holding my heart throughout time. But alas, there are so many toads. How do I find the one that may be my prince? Perhaps the painting on my wall of The Frog Prince will give me a clue. Is it really there to remind me of the many wishes that my hopeful heart has wished? But then perhaps it’s foolishness to dream this dream once more.

How many toads does one have to kiss to find the prince? The heart of a hopeful romantic like me will always ere on the side of potential. There is so much. Is it him? Is it me? I listen to the most romantic music and stirrings in my heart for The ONE that uplifts me and makes me whole. Great passion to become the most that I can ever be fills me. The love enhances every cell.

Once I had a lover on the internet. He was a knight in shining armor. Truly. He played knights in the Renaissance Faire. Oh, his flowery speech prompted me to fly away into such bliss. The words, the music were so captivating and so sensual as he played my ethereal body. Betraying my resolutions, my body responded like a finely tuned violin to the love-filled words spoken.

We play with each other through words and innuendos, titillating our senses safely from home. He may not even be a prince, but he writes as though he is. Of course I respond as though I am his Princess, his goddess, his delicate flower. Who will ever know? I can be anyone I wish to be.

It’s all in my mind after all.

Oops. I fell in love, revealed my heart, and he disappeared just like that. Poof! As I fall, it all vanishes. Now my heart is broken, and I resolve to discover me and romance myself or forever tuck my heart safely away. Simple play, it doesn’t stay.

Once I had a lover on the internet; it’s like modern day frog picking. I’m saddened by my loss, feeling jaded and gullible after all. We never met. An entire life time romanced in a matter of days, cast away.

I am wandering along the path of self discovery and reminiscing. How do I love with complete abandon and continue to love myself when I fall. Is this how my soul journeys through this life dancing as if no one is watching? Is love of myself all that really matters?

To have the love and attract even more is creation. Following my heart in shameless abandon may be the key to all that is me. The music holds me and bends, encouraging the passion as I fall. My mind misconstrues the meaning of the moments and pursues a lifetime. Listening to the music, each song has an ending no matter how beautiful the melody, no matter how much my heart rides the highs and softness and the power, it ends.

And I’m left once again with me.

www.maryainecurtis.com

Photo by Aleksandra P.

I took a speech class at City College when I was in my 40’s. All the students in the class appeared to be in their teens or early twenties. I wanted to tell a funny story, but wasn’t sure if what I saw as funny would connect with these young people and make them laugh. Appreciation of humor seems so generational.

Perplexed as to what topic I should choose, an incident provided the fodder for what I hoped would be my funny story. I was not one of those women who had to have a regular fix of shopping on a regular basis. I usually succumbed when my clothing needs had reached a critical mass (or lack, thereof). The day my last good pair of jeans split at the seams when I bent over, I knew that I had reached that point.

My favorite style pants were bell bottoms because throughout my whole life, muscle and joint pain has plagued my existence. Their wide legs suited my inflexibility. So, I thought, no big deal, I’d just go back to the same store where I had purchased that comfortable pair of bell bottoms.

To my dismay, changing styles had taken jeans from the wide and comfortable (the sublime) to the narrow and fitted (the ridiculous.) My first look told me that the jeans were all the same basic style. I pulled two pair, different sizes, off the racks —two sizes, because, as the young mother of four children, the size I wore varied by style and sometimes by how much chocolate I had consumed in the last month or so.

In the dressing room I slid my shoes off, slipped out of my skirt, and stepped into the first pair of pants. They were barely over my ankles when they refused to go any further. Since I consider myself a realist, I knew I had about as much a chance of reaching the end goal of buttoning them around my waist as I did of being the first woman astronaut on the moon. I managed to get the pants off without too much difficulty, since they had rebelled at the beginning of their journey.

The second larger pair made it past my ankles with ease. Encouraged, I straightened up so that I could work them the rest of the way up my legs. Ah, this is more like it. My relief was short-lived as each inch the pants navigated the unfamiliar terrain of my body where they encountered more and more resistance. Tug, tug, and finally, they slid over my hips. I made it, I crowed.

Once more, my smugness proved premature. Although I tugged some more, I couldn’t get the gap between the sides of the zipper close enough to zip. I took in a mighty breath, sucked in my stomach to the point of pain, and the zipper closed smoothly. I brought the two sides of the snap together and I was in. I let out my breath. Everything stayed in place. I began to turn in front of the mirror to admire my profile. Not bad. Four kids and I still look good in a pair of jeans.

Feeling proud of myself and my appearance, I didn’t hesitate. These babies were mine! Did I mention ‘premature smugness?’ Unsnapped, the pants refused to make the return journey down my body. Here I was, in a dressing room with the spanking new blue jeans stuck tight to my body.