By Ruth Cherry, PhD

Years ago I viewed the movie Pay It Forward in which a teacher assigns the class a project to make the world better. One student’s suggestion: Do a favor for three people, each of whom does a favor for three more, continuing forever. Last week I read the book.

Our local author, Catherine Ryan Hyde, has written more than 15 books, but Pay It Forward has achieved the greatest national attention. I started reading her books when I needed a fiction break from reality. But her books carried me deeper into what it means to be a human. Life (in her books as well as in the world) confronts us with challenge—pain and loss and disappointment and yearning and unexpected love. In her books, Hyde acknowledges these trials and artfully depicts humans accepting their challenges. We read about individuals who find heroic strength within themselves just by being themselves and doing their best every day. We learn about forgiveness and the courage to move ahead. We see self-hate transform into self-acceptance and then extend into acceptance of those who hate.

Not only does Hyde enlighten our current situation, she inspires us to be ourselves more fully. Hyde’s genius lies in the fact that she does not ask us to reach heights of accomplishment to further societal goals. She simply asks us to awaken–fully, with depth and with presence. She challenges us to live consciously every second, in every decision, in every interaction and with integrity in our solitude.

Perhaps Pay It Forward touches us because it is so simple and so immediately applicable. Today each of us can do a favor for someone who needs help. This simple exercise teaches us that we are all connected, that we share a humanity which unites us more than the details of our lives divide us. Accepting the challenge to Pay It Forward, I have involved myself in small but needed ways in a few acquaintances’ lives—a ride to the doctor, a trip to the grocery store, washing some dishes: all simple tasks but impossible for the recipients to perform on their own.

In these small acts, I have found comfort in experiencing my oneness with others. It’s not based on acceptance or approval. It’s an acknowledgement of the realization that we are in this together. And that consoles. Any one of us is not alone and our struggles are not singular and incomprehensible. By moving to that basic level of humanity, I am confirmed. I confirm another when I recognize her in her humanity. Her human needs, after all, are not different from my own.

I recommend Pay It Forward to anyone who struggles, to anyone who needs to find meaning in the minutes of her day, to any human sensitive to the challenges of being human. I also recommend it to anyone wanting to enlarge her experience in the world. If you have met your goals in life and are open to being shown greater depth, this is the book for you. Want some joy? Pay it Forward. Need some connection? Pay It Forward. Want to be more than you’ve ever been? Pay it Forward. Today and every day. The commitment to live open-heartedly in caring service will bring a passion to your life you haven’t imagined.

Ruth Cherry, PhD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice in San Luis Obispo, CA. Her specialty is midlife when psychological and spiritual dynamics merge. Her five books and guided meditation CD are available at her web sites, midlifepsychology.com, meditationintro.com, and God-Life-You.com.